Dear Craftsman Tools,
Although I doubt you remember me, I had sent you letter to express my sadness and frustration regarding your choice to remove yourself from the ever narrowing pool of American products that stood the test of time.
While that letter must have fallen on deaf ears, since nearly every hand tool you now offer is nothing short of cheap Chinese junk backed by what seems to be a 30/30 warranty (thirty seconds or thirty feet from the counter, which ever happens first), I had offered my opinion that your new line was nothing short of worthless.
I am writing this time to inform you I was wrong.
While it is true that the last time I put one of your tools to work I received a broken wrench and an 8 stitch trip to the emergency room, I have found the perfect use for your tools.
The other day I was on the hunt for a handle, something long and not too bulky. It was then that I rediscovered the five gallon bucket full of sockets, wrenches, and the like. All gifts from those who had not heard of your divorce from quality tools.
I must say, the length was right, and the scrawny body met my need perfectly.
So, let me publicly apologize for the negative statement- and I quote- “Your trademark name means nothing when stamped on garbage.”
Why even the cheap metal that feels so flimsy in one’s hand turned out to be a miserable conductor of heat (as metals go) and thus turned out to be perfect for my intended use!
I chose to honor your inadequate tool line by displaying your name on my new wood burner for the shop.
I did however promise to “never again be burned by the Craftsman name.” That promise still holds true as your wrench stayed cool as a cucumber even during the first firing to remove the paint from the scrap metal I used to assemble my new heating source.
So I must thank you. You have done an amazing job at keeping your brand name in my workshop, and I still have a bucket overflowing with handles to chose from!
Although I do believe you need a new marketing campaign.
Maybe something like- “Our tool shaped handles will dress up any scrap metal project imaginable!”
Good job Craftsman, you have found your niche, and even added a bit more character to my unique creation born out of need and carved from scrap abandoned by others.
I will be sure to share my discovery of your usefulness with all those others like me who enjoy the challenge of creating something useful from unwanted materials.